some songs... some old, some new

Over the past while I’ve been writing songs…. So here are some of them

In the Morning

Take you out in the morning

That’s when you’re beautiful

Without your paint

I’ll show you to the world

Looking the best in your own skin

Lying under the stars

Listen to your heartbeat

I don’t want to spoil this

You’re beautiful when you sleep

Last night hanging

Up the phone

But calling back

Just to hear your sigh

How am I the guy

That has caught your eye?

To have my arm a-round

Your waist

I just wish that I

Could have a taste

Of what you are keeping inside

Kiss you on your forehead

My lips just aren’t

Worthy of yours

At least not at the present time

Swim With Me

Don’t’ you want to swim with me?

Open up your eyes, you’ll see

Let your mind go free

Spread your wings, you’re free

Let the wind take you

Away from here

Don’t let your eyes deceive you

Just take the words

From me

The path,

The one we’re running down

Is not your own

It was blazed by

Some old man

Many centuries ago

She wanted to

You’re beautiful

Don’t let them take

That away from me

Don’t move your eyes dear

I know it’s hard

But I’ve just got to find

The end of your eyes

Just keep your eyes locked on mine

And we’ll swing from here

And we won’t fear

Don’t you want to stay with me?

Grow old this way with me?

You can never die

We can hold our eyes

But if we could only see

What lies in front of me,

Then you’d know what keeps

Me coming back to you

Don’t Have Many Secrets

I don’t have many secrets

And I don’t have many friends

Maybe you could be one of them

Secret friends until the end

Secret friends until the end

Smothered by your endless infatuation

I can’t get a clean injection

Do you care

For my affection?

Let us serve as some lesson

To this horrible situation,

Like being in love with you

Like being in love with you

Like being in love with you

Well I don’t have many secrets

And I don’t have many friends

Maybe you could be one of them

Secret friends until the end

How does that sound

On your grave?

Smothered by your endless infatuation

I can’t get a clean injection

Whatever happened to secret friends?

Don’t you care for me?

I know our friendship’s a secret

But you can care for me

Just touch my hand

So let this serve as a lesson

To the future generations

To this horrible affliction

Like being in love with you

Like being in love with you

Like being in love

With you

Snuff the Candle

Turn your phone off

The battery’s low

Snuff the candle

The kerosene smell

Lingers in the air

Pull your hair back

This won’t take long

To snuff me out

But it will take longer

To erase you from my memories

Take you out in the morning

That’s when you’re beautiful

Without your paint

I’ll show you to the world

Looking the best in your

Own skin

I don’t care, I’ll

Show you to the world

Turn your phone off

The battery’s low

Snuff the candle

The kerosene smell

Lingers in the air

Pull your hair back

It won’t take long

To snuff me out

But it will take longer

To erase you from my memory

It’s been three months

Since I last touched you

But since then I’ve moved on

Then fell right back

And in love with you again

Take you out in the morning

That’s when you’re beautiful

Without our paint I’ll show you

To the world….

Pulse

Whenever she walks

Into the room

I can feel my heartbeat

Other times my pulse

Tells me I’m dead

But it’s whenever she walks

Into the room

I feel my lungs begin to move

It’s like when you see

A long dead movie star

When I see you after

A long day of work

I know I can never

Have you again

Whenver I see that

Ring on your finger

It makes me think

Of what should have been,

What I could’ve been

Whenever I see that cute

Look on your face

I know that it’s

Not gonna go to waste

You’re got it all worked out

In your beautiful mind

It’s amazing to think

You once had time for me

You know I never hurt you

It’s just your best friend

Is the definition of bitch

You know I’d take all those things back

Cause I really do,

Want you back

Whenever she used to walk

Into the room

It used to make my heartbeat

But now all I get

Is the urge

To throw up,

In my mouth

It’s amazing how much

Things change

In months that end in y

That end in y

Off

Turn your phone off

We don’t need the light

Bring a jacket

This’ll take all night

Put your shoes on

We’re gonna walk

Turn your phone off

You don’t need to call

Put your shoes on,

In case you fall

Back in love with me

But it’s not likely

Turn your phone off

We don’t need the light

Put some pants on

It’ll take all night

We’re walking,

We’re walking

Take your frown off

It’ll only bring me down

Since high school

I’ve stuck around

But now it’s gone

Yeah and so am I

And so am I

No Blood, Just Tears

It ended with no bloodshed,

But you still had some tears

Said you needed space to figure

Yourself out

Said that you would call me

When you were ready

I should cut my loss,

Tape my heart up

And just move on,

Figure myself out

But I don’t need that

I know that

We’ll pick things back up

In a few months

I hope we can be fine again

It ended with no bloodshed,

But you still had some tears

Said that you needed

To figure yourself out

You said,

You Said that you would call me

When you were ready

Said that I should cut my loss,

My losses

Tape my heart up

Move on,

Try to.

Figure myself out

But I don’t need that

We’ll pick things up,

Dust them off

Until my fingers go

Right where they belong

I hope we can

Be fine again

Cause all I want

Is to be in love with you again

And to have you love me

Like you once did

Everclear and Pepsi

Everclear and Pepsi both

Symbolize all that’s broke

What can help?

Nothing,

Nothing can help me

You don’t want to remember me

But I can’t forget

I can’t forget you

All my life is trite

And cheap

And a waste

Of space

Life,

Of death

Of your time

Of my death

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

Nothing

I don’t want anything

No, no, no, no, no,

What do you want?

I want YOU

To love me

What more could you want?

Than me?

I can’t have you

It’s all I want

To love

And believe

In my soul

In my sooooouul

In my sooooouul

Bridal Movie

I keep reading the same books

Hoping for some constant meaning

The things they change,

But I try to keep them the same

I keep waiting for your call

Hoping that we can rekindle

Out long lost love, that once

Was the only thing clear to me

I don’t know what I’m waiting for

Something gone never to return

But I’ll just keep waiting

Maybe time will keep up,

Before I disappear

Lately life has been full of change

I don’t like the things the same

But with you I wish I could

Have stayed back there

The bottom of my memory

The only place

I can disappear

And this story wrote,

And the story wrote keeps

The same meaning

Something deep to drown my fears

Something that will get me moving again

This running movie it has no ending

Just looping the same reel

Till it burns out

Melted by my constant fear

I sit and write to pass the time

Before it all rises again

All these lines run, they fill my head

But it all sounds the same to me

Through my vacant stares

And the book has closed,

The book has closed

And the words

Run and run and run and run and run and

They run and run and run and run and run and

Run and run and run and run and run and

Run and run

Till we all disappear

Letter

I’m writing you this letter

To vent out all the same

Things we’ve gone over

A million times before

So I’m writing you this letter

To reiterate concern

Over your newfound acquaintance

And the care they’re paying you

But don’t let this deter you

Although I know it won’t

But I just wanted to tell you

That I won’t be around,

For long, for long

I’m heading east

To where we said we’d end up

Past the hills, right below the cape

I’m stopping off in Boston

Before I jump the lake

But if this doesn’t reach you

Then it probably never will

This letter in my pocket

The ink runs in the rain

But if they pull me from the ocean

The words are on my lips

But I’ll reach in my pocket

And give you one last kiss

I should have stopped in Boston

I should have turned around

Gone back to the ocean

That I knew as a child

Pick things back up

Get eaten on the web

Start off a new day

Far away from them

I’m sorry that I failed you

That I am too sincere

The second time around

I drowned in my fear

Of losing you again

But I’d do it all again

Jon Fitzgerald Kaleugher II, the good guy who has nothing

I've been told that i'm a "great guy" that I have a "good head on my shoulders." i have nothing wrong with people telling me these things, except for the fact that with these "great attributes" they've gotten me NOWHERE and very slowly. i can't keep the woman of my dreams happy, i can't get straight A's, i can't make more than a handful of friends. in a nutshell i can't do shit with this good head on my shoulders, i haven't been able to do anything with it, at least nothing that will make me love life or at least want to keep going on with it. i bet when they write my eulogy they'll say "Jon was a good man, he didn't do anything wrong and lived a quiet non productive life, giving back exactly what he took, nothing" and that'll be the whole thing.

i guess this all goes back to me not being able to be happy, or at least fool myself into thinking that i'm happy.

well i'm not happy and i know what i want but i can't have it. that's it, that's the story of my life.

it may sound like i'm being an emo kid or something like that, well maybe i am, but that's how i feel right now and you didn't have to read this. although i seriously doubt anyone will read this, that's usually how things work out.

Peace, Love and Empathy



Jon Fitzgerald Kaleugher II
the good guy that has nothing